The weather outside is my absolute favorite. I am obsessed with this season. Fall is my one true love! I just love the way the air smells in the fall....it makes me super happy and it always lifts my spirits. In the blistering summer heat...and the icy cold weather of summer that chills you to the bone....i always know that it will be fall again before we know it. This, for some reason, makes me realize how special my life is and gives me true faith in the future.
I dont need the things that ive always needed but ive also learned that i cant depend on the things that arnt there anymore. People come and go. Its just a part of life....a part that i dont fully understand sometimes. I know in my heart that god has a reason for everything he gives and takes from us.
Im just gonna put it out there bc its been heavy on heart for a while now. Ya know whats worse than having a father that has never been there....having a father for 18 yrs and...then suddenly.....hes gone. I am astonished this. Some people grow up never knowing there fathers....like my beautiful niece....and there are people that have been struck by the death of a father....like my beautiful sister. I on the other hand, have a biological father who i do no know very well.....and a dad...who has raised me since i was 4....who now seems to want nothing to do with me. Good thing im pretty strong huh! Ive got everything i NEED and i am so blessed. However, i do not have everything i want. I WANT what i no longer have.....a father figure. His loss....i know....but it eats me up inside.
Im completely content with where i am right now. Sure there a few things i would change if i could but i know that everything happens for a reason and man i cant wait to find out the secret to this crazy life of mine. I have my friends and family and my god and thats all i really need. My plan is to stop chasing the things that i can not change and start be happy with the things that surround me and fill me with such happiness and love. When everything is going wrong we just have to pick up and move along! Looking back i have realized that life never gave me anything that i coudlnt handle. I truly believe that people should live a little carelessly because the more you care the more you get hurt and that holds us back from being as happy as we can be. When we hit a speed bump going a little too fast.....we just drive a little slower next time. We HAVE to have faith in the unknown because with god....i can do anything....and i will. Ill do EVERYTHING!
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