The weather outside is my absolute favorite. I am obsessed with this season. Fall is my one true love! I just love the way the air smells in the fall....it makes me super happy and it always lifts my spirits. In the blistering summer heat...and the icy cold weather of summer that chills you to the bone....i always know that it will be fall again before we know it. This, for some reason, makes me realize how special my life is and gives me true faith in the future.
I dont need the things that ive always needed but ive also learned that i cant depend on the things that arnt there anymore. People come and go. Its just a part of life....a part that i dont fully understand sometimes. I know in my heart that god has a reason for everything he gives and takes from us.
Im just gonna put it out there bc its been heavy on heart for a while now. Ya know whats worse than having a father that has never been there....having a father for 18 yrs and...then suddenly.....hes gone. I am astonished this. Some people grow up never knowing there fathers....like my beautiful niece....and there are people that have been struck by the death of a father....like my beautiful sister. I on the other hand, have a biological father who i do no know very well.....and a dad...who has raised me since i was 4....who now seems to want nothing to do with me. Good thing im pretty strong huh! Ive got everything i NEED and i am so blessed. However, i do not have everything i want. I WANT what i no longer have.....a father figure. His loss....i know....but it eats me up inside.
Im completely content with where i am right now. Sure there a few things i would change if i could but i know that everything happens for a reason and man i cant wait to find out the secret to this crazy life of mine. I have my friends and family and my god and thats all i really need. My plan is to stop chasing the things that i can not change and start be happy with the things that surround me and fill me with such happiness and love. When everything is going wrong we just have to pick up and move along! Looking back i have realized that life never gave me anything that i coudlnt handle. I truly believe that people should live a little carelessly because the more you care the more you get hurt and that holds us back from being as happy as we can be. When we hit a speed bump going a little too fast.....we just drive a little slower next time. We HAVE to have faith in the unknown because with god....i can do anything....and i will. Ill do EVERYTHING!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
R- E -S -P- E- C- T.....me please!
A few things a person should respect ::In my opinion:
Because the world can use a little lesson on how to....
Another persons privacy and/or personal reasons for ANYTHING!
Excusing reasons for telling a lie of course...because lies are never good. NEVER. I just feel like people can never know anyones real reason they have done something ...unless of course...that beautiful saying...." You have walked a mile in their shoes".
Another persons convictions or beliefs!
Never badger a person for their own convictions or beliefs....even though they may differ from yours.I ,myself ,need to take this lesson to heart. There are alot of things i feel strongly about and it almost always leads to me ranting and raving about why my way is the right way...which is wrong. If i do believe my way to be true than, from now on i will( try ) to keep it to myself. For the simple fact that no one way is the right way ....oh and i really dont feel like being put down for what i believe in. Its never and easy thing to swallow when someone so strongly disagrees with you.
Rights to the freedom of speech!
I think we all know that this one may not apply to every situation:) However, i do strongly believe that ....unless rude or negative....theres a little bit of meaning behind anything anybody ever says. When someone says they hate you....they probably mean it....atleast for the moment. Same goes for love. When someone says you look better with a different shirt/your hair longer....they probably arnt the only ones who this. So listen to what people say and take it to heart......if its something mean or offputting....theres meaning behind that too.....they are giant assholes!
Our Elders!
In ALMOST every case....they are going to wind up right about whatever advice they give you. That saying "older is wiser"....true,for sure. Obviously our elders know everything right??? Ha they make is feel like they do atleast. Annoying i know but they most likely know exactly what is going happen in any situation bc they have been there. No matter if they are 2 yrs older than you...or 40 yrs older....they have been there....THEY KNOW! Everything i thought my mom was going to wrong about.....i was wrong....guess who was right? Our elders can teach us so much that we can not even begin to comprehend yet.....its funny that way it is. My great grandmother Nell Belcher....the BEST woman i have ever known....always said "ALWAYS BRING A SWEATER!!" even if you have to carry it....even if its 90 degrees outside....because of course its always 20 degrees cooler than you thought it would be at your destination...wherever it may be. Never fails....i will always take a sweater everywhere now. I miss that woman so much. I think about her every single day....sometimes i cry....knowing that she will never see me get married or be in my childrens lives one day. I will always tell them how she used to chew freedent gum and eat wintergreen lifesavers EVERYDAY. She always made me eggos and instant coffee in the mornings and always kept snickers bar ice cream in her enormous freezer. I cant wait for they day when i can sit beside her in heaven and watch walker texas ranger and wheel of fortune like we used to...and she will have no reason to say "Dont sit so close to the tv....you will be blind one day!"
Just realizing a few things i need to work on myself .....and i though id share...just some food for thought!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Desperation
Whats the use of standin right there on the edge if there aint nowhere to fall and what's the use in holdin on tight to the phone if nobody might call...
Desperation...theres danger in frustration...
Lovin this song right now....even though it may not be what best describes my situation. Itis full of little unseen messages. The biggest difference between girls and guys...or should i say women and men....is that women feel things with every bone in their bodies and men....well men have to be told when to feel i guess...or atleast most of the time.
There comes a point when you just have to dig really deep and put your priorities in order.
Men in there mid 20s want ESPN on ALL the time. A cold beer/remote control/ video game controler should be in their hands at all time or their brains shut down completely. They only think about whats going to happen in the next....oh ill cut them some slack and say the next 12 hrs....and thats cuttin it close. They want to eat at the bar instead of a boothand they only buy enough groceries to last a week...and do you think they picked up your ::cough cough:: tampons on isle 4.....think again.
Don't get me wrong...there are so many reasons why we love the men in our lives but lets face it....sometimes they need to be slapped around a little just so they remember what/who they have and why they could never live without it/you. With this being said....ihave come to the conclusion that no matter if your guy laughs everytime your trying to be serious or shruggs his shoulders at something you may have been really excited about....there is still a heart in there somewhere so maybe we just need to....once in a while...sit them down...with a nice cold beer in there hand...maybe put the tv on the poker channel and say " hey...this is what im trying to say and you are going to hear it and take itseriously!",bc i mean after all. ...men and women are completely different. This i know to be true.
Well there's my bit for the day...just needed to vent.My new journey for the next couple ofweeks is going to be to try to put everything in prospective and really express my opinion without getting a cloudy mind or letting a stupid boys point of view ruin my hope for the future.....for us.
I have a wonderful loving boyfriend who could just learn to be a little more sensitive...and i could learn to be a little less abrasive. Things may not always turn out the way i planned for them to but heres to hoping!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
True meaning of the saying....
One of my favorite country artists is Miranda Lambert. She has a song called Girl like me and the song goes "Cuz thats the kinda girl I am. I take off before I land and even though you think you can.... you cant change the way I am".
Totally Me!
I want many...many...too many things. I have already passed that point in your mid-twenties....the day where you wake up and realize that everything is in place and all you need to do it make it happen. Well that was a joke if i ever saw one coming.
So far...i have a career, and a i have found the love of my life.
Zac! He is someone whom i admire very deeply.Works 12hrs a day, just to come home and cuddle up next to me and the pups....without one complaint. I can only wish to be like him. Hes got a good head on his shoulders.....wants everything in place....never plans anything out to the fullest but somehow always turns the situation out for the best. This is very UNLIKE me. Maybe oppisites do attract. Me on the other hand, I always plan everything out exactly how i want and need it to be done....does this happen? Heck no!! However, Zac is there to pick up the slack. He is the foundation that is holding my crumbling plans from crashing down to the ground and burning.
Right now Im the process of trying to plan as far as finding the perfect home. Plans that are so-far perfectly, unperfect. All i ask for is a house with a fenced in yard for the dogs to play and i big kitchen that i can cook in, and huge closets for all of my unseen...at times... clutter. Oh and dont forget a huge jacuzzi tub bc nice long baths are the one thing that keep from going insane! Is this too much to ask for?? Well when it comes to buying your first home...some seem to think that all of these things are just foolish wants.
So...the house thing is on the backburner...for now!
Next in line...MARRIAGE!
I did not know that this could be such a tricky topic. Im almost 24...i have a good job....i have met the one that i want and need to spend every morning and night with for the rest of my life.The father to our unborn children. I have been planning our wedding in my head since the first night he kissed me.... in all seriousness. Well according to well a few voiced opinions...we are "too young" or its "too soon" after my sister got engaged....even"theres so many things you need to do that you cant do when your married"....like what??? We live together and do practically everything but work together and go to the bathroom together.....i mean come on. The last one is mostly from his mid-twenties-far too opinionated friends.
The only thing i wish to say more about this subject is that when the time comes it will be right and nobody is going to make me think otherwise. I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. I think that everyday shows us something about ourselves that we did not know the day before. Im strong and independent but i love the fact that at the end of the day i have someone that supports me in everything that i believe in. So one day he will purpose and on that day i will say HEll YES!
Last but surely not least on my"growing up agenda"....BABIES!
This will come in due time...no rush...but if you know me at all then you know that the day that i become a mother will be the day when my life becomes complete! Being a mother is the reason i am on this earth.....and i believe this with my whole heart! Some say im crazy but its just one of those things that you know, deep down to be true.
So now that ive been on a rant, im going to simply leave you with this:
Never let anyone stand in the way of your own happiness!
Five years ago I would never have dreamt that i would be day dreaming about all of these things so even if it is a far-fetched dream for the future....dont be afraid to say how you feel...
I want a house with a yard and big closets and a huge kitchen. I WILL be Mrs. Mullinax one of these days...and i will be the perfect mother to our children. The end!
One of my favorite country artists is Miranda Lambert. She has a song called Girl like me and the song goes "Cuz thats the kinda girl I am. I take off before I land and even though you think you can.... you cant change the way I am".
Totally Me!
I want many...many...too many things. I have already passed that point in your mid-twenties....the day where you wake up and realize that everything is in place and all you need to do it make it happen. Well that was a joke if i ever saw one coming.
So far...i have a career, and a i have found the love of my life.
Zac! He is someone whom i admire very deeply.Works 12hrs a day, just to come home and cuddle up next to me and the pups....without one complaint. I can only wish to be like him. Hes got a good head on his shoulders.....wants everything in place....never plans anything out to the fullest but somehow always turns the situation out for the best. This is very UNLIKE me. Maybe oppisites do attract. Me on the other hand, I always plan everything out exactly how i want and need it to be done....does this happen? Heck no!! However, Zac is there to pick up the slack. He is the foundation that is holding my crumbling plans from crashing down to the ground and burning.
Right now Im the process of trying to plan as far as finding the perfect home. Plans that are so-far perfectly, unperfect. All i ask for is a house with a fenced in yard for the dogs to play and i big kitchen that i can cook in, and huge closets for all of my unseen...at times... clutter. Oh and dont forget a huge jacuzzi tub bc nice long baths are the one thing that keep from going insane! Is this too much to ask for?? Well when it comes to buying your first home...some seem to think that all of these things are just foolish wants.
So...the house thing is on the backburner...for now!
Next in line...MARRIAGE!
I did not know that this could be such a tricky topic. Im almost 24...i have a good job....i have met the one that i want and need to spend every morning and night with for the rest of my life.The father to our unborn children. I have been planning our wedding in my head since the first night he kissed me.... in all seriousness. Well according to well a few voiced opinions...we are "too young" or its "too soon" after my sister got engaged....even"theres so many things you need to do that you cant do when your married"....like what??? We live together and do practically everything but work together and go to the bathroom together.....i mean come on. The last one is mostly from his mid-twenties-far too opinionated friends.
The only thing i wish to say more about this subject is that when the time comes it will be right and nobody is going to make me think otherwise. I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. I think that everyday shows us something about ourselves that we did not know the day before. Im strong and independent but i love the fact that at the end of the day i have someone that supports me in everything that i believe in. So one day he will purpose and on that day i will say HEll YES!
Last but surely not least on my"growing up agenda"....BABIES!
This will come in due time...no rush...but if you know me at all then you know that the day that i become a mother will be the day when my life becomes complete! Being a mother is the reason i am on this earth.....and i believe this with my whole heart! Some say im crazy but its just one of those things that you know, deep down to be true.
So now that ive been on a rant, im going to simply leave you with this:
Never let anyone stand in the way of your own happiness!
Five years ago I would never have dreamt that i would be day dreaming about all of these things so even if it is a far-fetched dream for the future....dont be afraid to say how you feel...
I want a house with a yard and big closets and a huge kitchen. I WILL be Mrs. Mullinax one of these days...and i will be the perfect mother to our children. The end!
Monday, September 13, 2010
The blogging world.....
An irritating issue that has been on mind. People that don't allow people to have their own opinions...people that flat out cross the line when you express your liking or lack there of for something/someone.
You know those people!
Definiton of "opinion"---a personal belief or judgement that is not founded on any proof or certainty.
I have my own opinions and that is why they are MY opinions....it is not fact it is however what i believe to be true. You have your opinions....they are different and that is why they are YOUR opinions.
I do believe some people to be much too opinionated. The people that just wont hear anything but their own little voice in their head.....telling them what they think is the truth. Well its just not so. No one opinion is truth and no one opinion is right/wrong. Simply just a personal expression of belief.
Some of the things that I like that seem to piss those certain people off....Im a huge fan of Bieber. Yes I have the fever. Yes I am almost 24 yrs old. Does this mean i am a predator or something?Absolutely not! If you think he is cheesy and his music stinks...well so be it. That is YOUR opinion so please don't judge me for mine.
Another thing that seems to piss people off is that i truly HATE Lady GaGa! I do like a few of her songs simply bc they are catchy. I just think she is a hypocrite. She sets this example for people that is supposed to steer them away from trying too hard to fit in. In my opinion the woman is trying much too hard to be different. Does she need to pose nude with raw meat all over her body....or wear 12 inch heels everywhere she goes....i sure don't think so. Again it is just my opinion so go on and love her all you little monsters out there!
There are a lot of things that would surprise people about me but I'm not ashamed of my opinions. Im also not going to belittle another person for theirs!
This is the end of my very first blog.....many more where this came from!
You know those people!
Definiton of "opinion"---a personal belief or judgement that is not founded on any proof or certainty.
I have my own opinions and that is why they are MY opinions....it is not fact it is however what i believe to be true. You have your opinions....they are different and that is why they are YOUR opinions.
I do believe some people to be much too opinionated. The people that just wont hear anything but their own little voice in their head.....telling them what they think is the truth. Well its just not so. No one opinion is truth and no one opinion is right/wrong. Simply just a personal expression of belief.
Some of the things that I like that seem to piss those certain people off....Im a huge fan of Bieber. Yes I have the fever. Yes I am almost 24 yrs old. Does this mean i am a predator or something?Absolutely not! If you think he is cheesy and his music stinks...well so be it. That is YOUR opinion so please don't judge me for mine.
Another thing that seems to piss people off is that i truly HATE Lady GaGa! I do like a few of her songs simply bc they are catchy. I just think she is a hypocrite. She sets this example for people that is supposed to steer them away from trying too hard to fit in. In my opinion the woman is trying much too hard to be different. Does she need to pose nude with raw meat all over her body....or wear 12 inch heels everywhere she goes....i sure don't think so. Again it is just my opinion so go on and love her all you little monsters out there!
There are a lot of things that would surprise people about me but I'm not ashamed of my opinions. Im also not going to belittle another person for theirs!
This is the end of my very first blog.....many more where this came from!
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